Investor Relations
Dear Valued (Hypothetical) Shareholders,
It has been another extraordinary quarter for PP Waterballs Limited. Demand for our core product continues to outstrip supply by a margin that would alarm any serious operations consultant, which is fortunate, because we have not hired one.
Our expansion into export markets remains, as always, 80% complete, a figure that has not moved since our founding and which we have decided not to investigate further.
We remain grateful to our finance-Twitter shareholder base, whose enthusiasm for oversubscription statistics continues to exceed our actual production capacity.
Warm regards,
The Board (Prem, Prakash, and the CA who started all this)
Attendance: Two founders, one CA, and a WhatsApp group of approximately 4,000 people, none of whom RSVP'd correctly.
Item 1 — Approval of last year's accounts. Approved unanimously, mostly because nobody present had actually read them.
Item 2 — Dividend policy. The Board proposed a dividend of zero water balloons per share, citing the fact that water balloons do not keep well in transit (see: Risk Factors, our Prospectus).
Item 3 — Any other business. A shareholder asked whether the Company was, in fact, real. The Chair noted this was outside the scope of today's agenda and moved to adjourn.
Meeting adjourned for golgappa.
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